Tune Out Distractions

Tune Out Distractions card jumped out of the deck at me.  I was shuffling and it fell out.  It is said that when a card falls out of the deck it is the one that you need to embrace as profound intuitive signal.  That was my card.  

This was a great reminder, because yesterday, while at work, a client gave another Massage Therapist a gratuity in the form of Cannabis.  The Therapist does not use cannabis and gave it to me.  Our supervisor confiscated it from me.  It was in a branded, unopened, sealed professional package.  I asked for it back and reached for it.  She pulled her hand away and walked to her office.  

I did not protest.  

While working, I became livid.  The distraction of how I felt lingered with me through each of my appointments.  I felt inferior.  I felt like I was treated like a child by someone young enough to be my child.  I felt I was stolen from.  I felt that I should speak up. 

When I got out of my last appointment before my break, my supervisor was gone for the day.  So, I texted our boss, the owner.  I said what I said, and then added, I want it back.  It was the principle.  It could have been a bag of beef jerky, a penny, a sticker, a post-it note, but it wasn't and it was mine.  In the midst of it, I spoke out loud that I was unhappy and that I was treated poorly.  The least they could have done was tell me to take it to my car because it made them uncomfortable for it being in the building.  Every moment of my workshift, I thought about how the scenario went, how it could have gone, and how it was going.  I was very aggravated.

The distraction took me into the evening before I went to sleep.  The thought lingers with me today.  I have yet to go to work, and I don't want to have a chip on my shoulder for feeling violated.  

My soul's purpose is to recognize my higher self.  I need to listen to my soul's still voice, rather than the loudness that keeps speaking into me.  The loud is what bothers me the most.  It is what gets me fired up.  I don't want a disrupted harmony at work, but I still want my property back.  If I don't get it back, I want the mistake righted. I just don't want to listen to the little voices that shout angry noise.

Express Your Joy

I pulled Express Your Joy.  That's a fantastic card.  There are many things to be joyous of.  

Joy 1)  It is November 1st, the start of my birth month.  I was born on Monday, November 28th, 1977.  Today, is my work Monday, although it's Friday.  Weekends are the busiest time of week for a massage therapist.  I am grateful to have a job and a career.  I enjoy most of my clientele, especially almost all my repeat guests.  I have had the opportunity to work with some elite people such as authors, sports figures, actors, comedians, news anchors, singers, models, and social media influencers.  Other clientele have been housewives, students, children, and your average blue collar worker.   It has been an amazing and rewarding career.  

Joy 2)  Halloween was a hit.  My husband and I decorated the outside of our apartment, the shared space of 7 other tenants, and we had so many trick-or-treaters.  I live every day like it's my mom's last day, and she got to see some of the kids all dressed up.  The cutest was a baby dressed like a cow.  Obviously, his parents were doing the trick-or-treating.  But, the best part of our holiday was watching how many parents wanted to take pictures of their children in our Halloween graveyard.  It was spooky and fun.

Joy 3)  October is over, November is here, but December is coming.  December is the celebration of our Christmas Holiday.  We are caring for my mom, and the Alzheimer's is pretty bad at this point, so we don't want to disrupt what seems normal for her regarding the way our home is.  So, we are brainstorming on how to beautify the front of our apartment the way we did for Halloween. 

The Express Your Joy card reminds me that I am recuperating from negative and unconscious energies of the five-sensory world and accepting my Divine birthright.  It's igniting the fire of passion in my soul and placing joy in my heart.  My soul's purpose is to allow my Divine Inner Child to take over and lead my life.  I agree.

This is why I decided to get these cards.  They will help me remember when I feel spiritually lost.

Find Your Backbone

It is Halloween 2024, a perfect day to begin the first entry of this diary.

The card I pulled is "Find Your Backbone."  This card is about struggling with self and boundaries or my own voice.  This card is perfect.

I recently was pulled over by Huntington Beach Police Department, and it really hurt my feelings and embarrassed me.  I didn't know I had done anything wrong.  The officer got out of his car and yelled at me.  He made me feel so small.  He did not identify himself.  He implied I was drunk or high on dope, or that maybe I was on my cell phone.  After all the questions and insults, he told me he pulled me over because I had run a red light a few lights back.  I have no idea why he waited so long to pull me over.  He let me go without a ticket, but yelled at me to "Go Home and drive better."  I was grateful to leave, but by the time I got home, I was mad.  My entire day was ruined.  I had a good work day, and then I got home and couldn't stop overthinking about the situation.

The following day, my husband told me I needed to report the incident.  Other people on my social media concurred that this situation was reportable.  I didn't really want to report it.  I felt it is what it is.  But, with pressure of everyone telling me what was wrong with the situation, I decided I should report it.

Sunday, I went to the police station, but they were closed.  I went home and wrote a letter to both Huntington Beach Police Department and POST (a police officer training site that takes complaints on police very seriously).  POST responded with a form, saying there was a proper protocol to reporting an incident.  Huntington Beach Police Department's Internal Affairs reached out yesterday, Tuesday.

After speaking to Internal Affairs, I felt much better about my decision to report.  The officer at Internal Affairs explained that the story I told him is definitely police misconduct and gave me 2 options on how to handle this report.  I could 1) do it the easy-peasy way and have them reprimand the officer and give him a slap on the hand or 2) I could do it the hard way, and go to the police station, fill out a lengthy form, do an audio interview, and possibly have to go to court.

I decided to go with option 1.  The police officer warned me and go about my way.  I want him to be warned and go about his way.  Eye for an eye.

I'm true to myself, reclaiming my personal integrity, no matter how frightening it could be.  I stuck to my convictions in a non-aggressive, loving and grounded way.  I figure, I wouldn't want to get into deep trouble or have to go to court over a fixable error at my job, and I know I have made mistakes.  I wouldn't want to be embarassed and have to tell my husband that I was suspended or lost my job because of my attitude.  So, I decided to not go the hard way and hopefully the reprimand will be between officer to officer and then he will rememember to refocus his aggression in a different way.

I found my backbone.